Most of us are familiar with the story of Dorothy and the friends she meets on her way to find the Wizard.  The Scarecrow who felt he lacked a brain; the Tin Man who didn’t think he had a heart; and the Cowardly Lion who wished he had courage.  The Wizard (a man whose heart was in the right place but whose ethics needed some work) actually exercised some effective coaching skills at the end of the story.

 For each of Dorothy’s three friends, he fostered a sense of belief that they, indeed, had those things they sought so desperately.  He convinced the Scarecrow he was smart by giving him a diploma. The Tin Woodsman received his gift from the Wizard and knew he now had a heart because it was breaking.  The Cowardly Lion became instantly courageous when he received his medal for bravery.

 Believing in Yourself
When Dorothy saw her friends all get what they wanted she was in firm belief she could certainly have what she wanted.  Glynda, the Good Witch, had Dorothy repeat, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home…

 Each of them, as it turns out, already had inside of them the answers they were seeking.  Ironically, they had the potential and the ability to grant their own desires from the very beginning.  The only thing missing was belief.

 The beauty of The Wizard of Oz is that we are all able to identify with the characters and their challenges along life’s path.  Doesn’t it make you think of the fantastic life you could have if you really believed you could?

WHAT GIVES A MAN OR WOMAN THE RIGHT TO LEAD?

It certainly isn’t gained by election or appointment.  Having position, title, rank, or degrees doesn’t qualify anyone to lead other people.  And the ability doesn’t come automatically from age or experience, either.  No, it would be accurate to say that no one can be given the right to lead.  The right to lead can only be earned.  And that takes time.

The Kind of Leader Others Want to Follow

The key to becoming an effective leader is not to focus on making other people follow, but on making yourself the kind of person they want to follow.  You must become someone others can trust to take them where they want to go.  As you prepare yourself to become a better leader, use the following guidelines to help you grow:

1. Let go of your ego.The truly great leaders are not in leadership for personal gain.  They lead in order to serve other people.  Perhaps that is why Lawrence D. Bell remarked, “Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I’ll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things.”
2. Become a good follower first.Rare is the effective leader who didn’t learn to become a good follower first.  That is why a leadership institution such as the United States Military Academy teaches its officers to become effective followers first – and why West Point has produced more leaders than the Harvard Business School.
3. Build positive relationships.Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.  That means it is by nature relational.  Today’s generation of leaders seem particularly aware of this because title and position mean so little to them.  They know intuitively that people go along with people they get along with.
4. Work with excellence.No one respects and follows mediocrity.  Leaders who earn the right to lead give their all to what they do.  They bring into play not only their skills and talents, but also great passion and hard work.  They perform on the highest level of which they are capable.
5. Rely on discipline, not emotion.Leadership is often easy during the good times.  It’s when everything seems to be against you – when you’re out of energy, and you don’t want to lead – that you earn your place as a leader.  During every season of life, leaders face crucial moments when they must choose between gearing up or giving up.  To make it through those times, rely on the rock of discipline, not the shifting sand of emotion.
6. Make adding value your goal.When you look at the leaders whose names are revered long after they have finished leading, you find that they were men and women who helped people to live better lives and reach their potential.  That is the highest calling of leadership – and its highest value.
7. Give your power away.

One of the ironies of leadership is that you become a better leader by sharing whatever power you have, not by saving it all for yourself.  You’re meant to be a river, not a reservoir.  If you use your power to empower others, your leadership will extend far beyond your grasp.

In The Right to Lead, you will hear from and read about people who have done these same things and earned the right to lead others.  Because of the courage they found and the character they displayed, other people recognized their admirable qualities and felt compelled to follow them.

The followers who looked to these leaders learned from them, and so can we.  As you explore their worlds and words, remember that it takes time to become worthy of followers.  Leadership isn’t learned or earned in a moment.

Where will you be in 2014?  This is a question for you to answer as well as one to put before your clients.  Chances are you’ve already dropped into Possibility Thinking.  This is good.

One of the distinct gifts of being human is our ability to create our own destiny.  Isn’t it surprising how many people never accept this gift or just give it away, making someone else responsible for it.

Think about what can be done in five years.  Better yet, think about where you were and what you were doing in 2004.  This is always fun.  Look at what has changed since then.  Most likely, a lot.   

Question

What are you thinking about doing right now that might take some time to come to fruition?  Are you working on a degree or certification?

Here’s the bottom line.  The future is coming and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.  Your goals may take some work.  Worthy goals usually do.  You can either take action now; accomplish these goals and enjoy the rewards -or- you can still be putting them off, five years from now, because they take too long to achieve.

You get to decide –right now– where you want to be.  Dream of the possibilities.  Set the intention.  If you could have it anyway you wanted, what would it be?  What would it sound like, smell like, look like and feel like?  Listen to your intuition.  Breath it in.  Envision your future.  Embrace the moment. 

Now, go out and make it happen.  Make it happen for your family, make it happen for your clients, and –most of all– make it happen for you.  It’s your destiny.  Create it and it will come.

        Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life:  the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.  These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

         I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy – ecstasy so great that I would often have scrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy.  I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness – that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss.  I have sought it, finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that the saints and poets have imagined.  This is what I sought, and thought it might seem too good for human life, this is what – at last – I have found.

        With equal passion I have sought knowledge.  I have wished to understand the hearts of men.  I have wished to know why the stars shine.  And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux.  A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

        Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens.  But always pity brought me to earth.  Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart.  Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a hated burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be.  I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

        This has been my life.  I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

Lao Tzu, famous Chinese philosopher living over 2500 years ago, stated that the biggest problem in the world is that individuals experience themselves as powerless.  Powerless individuals feel helpless, negative, lethargic, frustrated, resentful, and often live in fear, enslaved by circumstances they perceive as beyond their control.

The opposite of powerless is an inner awareness, an internal state of being we refer to as “personal power” in the emotional intelligence field.

Personal power is an inner awareness that makes us feel in control of our lives.   It is an inner knowing that we can achieve our goals, a calm conviction about who we are and our ability to get the things we want in life.

Quiet Confidence

People with a highly developed sense of personal power have a quiet self-confidence that they can set the direction of their lives, and they do.  They are able to distinguish among circumstances over which they have some control and those they do not.  They define themselves from the inside out (for example, their internal self talk includes messages like “I am a capable person, I can manage this setback, I’m good at managing conflict, I’m creative”)

The biggest barrier to success in almost any endeavor is powerlessness, negativity, helplessness and inertia.  Mahatma Gandhi had no army, never held or accepted political office, never used violence.  He was a small, frail man, yet he defeated the armed might of the British Empire, driving the British out of India without firing a single shot.  How did he accomplish this?

Personal power.  Personal power can move mountains.  Personal power solves problems.

It’s usually the first thing to come up.  “How much will it cost me?” asks the customer.  We then dodge the question to avoid running them off before we have a chance to explain the value of the product.

Sure, there are those who pitch low prices and for them the price question is welcome.  But regardless of where your price falls on the industry scale, it’s not the cost that matters most to customers.

Consider one auto insurance’s bold message to their potential customers: Call us and we’ll give you our rates and the rates of five of our competitors – even if they are cheaper. What message does that send if you are thinking about buying auto insurance?  For starters, it tells you that the company is more interested in your satisfaction than in getting you to buy.  Of course they don’t want you to go to one of their competitors, but they’re willing to bank on the fact that having a trustworthy insurance company is more important than a cheap one.  So they’re not afraid to offer you some helpful advice.  “Here are your options,” they say, “and we’ll help advise you on which one is the best fit for your needs – even if that means introducing you to another company.”  It’s an innovative way to highlight your intentions and, in the end, it builds trust.

There is always the chance you will lose a customer on price; but why not make it about more than price from the beginning.  Offer them advice that indicates you care more about their overall satisfaction than their money.  If they still choose a competitor after all, be ready when that other company falls short because you’ll be the first person they call.  And you won’t have to prove yourself twice.

1. Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness! Respect their position and keep it moving!

2. Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them! And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

3. Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don’t want to travel with you. Either they believe in you and value you…or they don’t!

4. Quit complaining about things you can’t and won’t change!

5. Quit gossiping about other people! Minding our own business should be a full time job!

6. Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren’t going to matter three weeks from now! Talk solutions…and then implement them!

7. Quit eating things you know are not good for you! If you can’t quit…eat smaller portions!

8. Quit buying things when we know we can’t afford them! If you don’t have self control, then quit going to the stores! Quit charging things, especially when you don’t NEED them!

9. Quit staying in unhealthy relationships! It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself! It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

10. Quit letting family members rope you into the drama! -Start telling them you don’t want to hear it! Quit spreading the drama! Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

11. Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN’T WORK! Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

12. Quit the job you hate! Start pursuing your passion. Find the job that fuels your passion BEFORE you quit!

13. Quit volunteering for things that you aren’t getting any personal fulfillment from anymore! Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

14. Quit listening to the naysayers! Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!

15. Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can’t do what you want to do!

16. Quit waiting on others to give you the answers…and start finding the answers for yourself! If what you are doing isn’t working for you…then quit it!

17. Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!- Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past….you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT …… and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

– Epictetus

Tyree’s Thoughts:

Epictetus (pronounced Epic-tee-tus) was a Greek philosopher who lived in the first century of the common era. To Epictetus, all external events are determined by fate, and are thus beyond our control, but we can accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. Individuals, however, are responsible for their own actions which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline. Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable, or from neglecting what is within our power.

WOW! How many of us continue to worry about things that are outside of our span of control or our ability to influence the outcome? Yea, we all are guilty of this, but why? Why do we have such worries about things we can not control? Why do we allow others to determine our destiny? My guess is, we want someone to blame but ourselves. What do you think? It’s easy to point the finger at someone else rather than look in the mirror and take ownership and responsibility for our on shortcomings and failures. In my opionion, people need to stop looking for someone else to assess blame to, and take control over their destiny and their happiness.

I believe the most important thing about self-esteem is the first word; “SELF”. You got it, there is no one to hold in greater esteem than one’s self. Please understand that only you have the power over you; how you think; how you live; how you feel; how you love; how you work; how you play, etc. In essence, you empower you!! What a concept.

So, for those things we have no control or influence over, recognize it, accept your reality, and take control over those things which are within your ability to either control or influence. Outside of that, free your mind and yourself.

Nothing great ever gets done without heart. You gotta have heart. And, at the heart of leadership is caring.

As a relationship, leadership requires a connection between leaders and their constituents over matters, in the simplest sense, of the heart. It is personal and it is interpersonal.

Encouragement boosts performance and strengthens our resolve. The leadership practice of encouraging could not be more timely or needed than right now.

If you’re after results, then you’d better start paying attention to encouraging the heart.

Encouraging the heart, then, is about the dichotomous nature of leadership. It’s about toughness and tenderness. Guts and grace. Firmness and fairness. Fortitude and gratitude. Passion and compassion.

Leadership is not about a position or a place. It’s an attitude and a sense of responsibility for making a difference.

The best leaders care. The best leaders get to know the person. When it comes time to recognize, leaders know a way to make it special, meaningful and memorable.

Bold leadership is required if we are to keep hope alive. Leaders keep hope alive when they give feedback and recognize a job well done. They keep hope alive when they provide the internal support that all human beings need to feel that they are important and have value. Leaders keep hope alive when they set an example. There really is nothing more encouraging than to see leaders practice what they preach.

When asked about the relationship between encouragement and performance, 98% of employees said they perform at a higher level when given encouragement and recognition.

The simple thank-you note is an extraordinary example of how someone can turn something so commonplace into a unique event.

Recognition can hurt if it’s not personalized.

What it comes down to is thoughtfulness: how much effort you put into thinking about the other person and what makes the recognition special for that person. It means observing an individual and asking: “What would really make this special and unique for this person?”

Celebration is an integral element of culture and provides the symbolic adhesive that welds a community of people together.

In one study conducted, investigators found that what distinguished high-performing groups from those performing less well was the wide variety and frequency of celebratory events – events where recognition and appreciation were expressed.